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STEP AWAY FROM THE LIGHT ... IT'S BLINDING YOU
INTELLIGENT GUY TRAPS
There's a series of common problem among smart guys, and I want to help clear a few of them up for you right now, before they cripple your ability to seduce women for the rest of your life.
In recent years, it's become very popular in the self-help publishing area to present this image of a relationship as a place where you can create this spiritual transformation in your life. Everyone from the Zen Buddhists to the new Christian spiritualists want you to believe that there is this holy "white light" of love. They tell you it's a place where you can experience this "blessed union" with your "soulmate."
Now, I'm not a total cynic, nor am I lacking a bit of romantic edge, but this is - in my opinion - one of the most limiting and damaging traps to fall into. It's appealing to the intelligent man's mind, but it's NOT reality.
Smart guys are often crippled by their intelligence. They want to skip the lust and passion portion to get right to the "white light of love" union of souls ideal.
It sounds so cool, doesn't it? I mean, they promise you that if you just do all this great exploration of your inner child, you'll be able to "heal" yourself and have the love you've always wanted.
It's a load of sh*t.
You have to start with a level of FIRE before you can forge this higher level union. In simplest terms, you must get primitive with a woman before you can reach her higher brain functions.
She has to be ATTRACTED to you FIRST.
Let's be clear about this: 99% of all people on this planet have difficulty keeping the BASICS of a relationship together, let alone creating this theoretical mystical bliss. Just finding a woman that you can spend any prolonged period of time with is challenging enough.
And finding a woman that you can spend your ENTIRE life with is even more rare. (Just look at the divorce rate.)
You will get more benefit in your love life by just attending to the basics of male-female se*xuality and dynamics than by trying to merge together with your "soulmate."
The one percent or so who may have been able to attain SOME of this bliss write a lot of new-age crap books telling the rest of us to go after it. And the intelligent guys fall for it in droves.
Because it appeals to their sense of what they would LIKE things to be like.
They WISH it was like this.
But it's not. And I'm not being negative either.
It's like the difference between telling you that you MIGHT win the lottery this week, and telling you that the probability of it actually happening is less than you getting hit by lightning. (This is true, by the way.)
One of those is wishful thinking ... hopeful thinking. The other is the reality.
Instead, you should be playing the game you can WIN at, if you learn a few skills to play it better. Instead of hoping on blind luck, try learning a little skill and go to the blackjack tables in Vegas instead. You'll have a much higher chance of coming away with some money.
Intelligent men (which is more of us guys than women think) fall into the trap of believing that because something would be "fair" and "right," that this means that reality will bend and distort for them and suddenly it will BE that way.
Another reason intelligent guys fall for this white-light crap is that after they hear a woman proclaim (with her words, NEVER her actions) a thousand times that what she wants is a "nice" guy. (Her Prince Charming, someone she can have as her best friend.)
And most guys start to think that this is really the kind of man she wants.
When, in fact, women just need to bitch and complain. THAT is why women gripe. She really knows, deep down inside, that a NICE guy is NOT what she's into.
Beware these other traps of the Smart Guy:
- TALKING your Se*xuality (instead of acting it) - A lot of intelligent men try to seduce women by appealing to a woman's intellect, because they hunger for some companionship that is se*xual but also gives them the mental turn-on they seek.
I've seen this at work many times, and what these guys fail to notice is that you might turn her on by appealing to her intellectual side, but you will NEVER get laid - until you turn on her se*xual attraction mechanism.
I've seen countless guys whose thinking goes something like this:
"If I show her a man who is smart and can talk to her, appeal to her intelligence, while being slightly sophisticated, she'll see that I'm the kind of guy she wants and then she'll start to want me."
What these guys succeed in doing is amputating their se*xuality from the situation, leaving her feeling like she's interacting with a neutered professor, not a VIRILE man. You kick start her attraction mechanism first, AND THEN impress her with your ability to talk about perverted German philosophers.
Not the other way around. Make sense?
- SOULMATES - I hate to piss in your Cheerios on this one, guys, but there is no such thing in my book as "The One." That's a myth that's been sold by fairy tales, Harlequin romance novels, and Hollywood. (But mostly by women.)
The truth is that there are dozens - possibly hundreds or even THOUSANDS of women in your immediate area that would make perfectly good lovers, girlfriends, and maybe even wives. A "soulmate" is a myth created by women to maintain the Cinderella illusion in romance and love-making.
(Women don't have any real challenges in dating other than to pick the guy they are most turned on by. What else do they have to work at other than creating drama to keep things interesting?)
Soulmates, in my opinion, are nothing more than a glorified case of GOOD TIMING.
- Believing Her Words Instead of Her Actions - The only thing that matters with women is what gets RESULTS. You can argue with me until you're blue in the face about what you WISH things were like, or the way they SHOULD be.
Don't believe anything but the actions that get you the response you want - no matter how illogical they may seem.
Smart guys need to turn off their brains and turn on their sensuality. You don't get laid talking to her about Renaissance painters, or current affairs. You'll only arouse her curiosity, not her LUST.
If, on the other hand, you can talk to her about painters while stroking her forearm and teasing her about her taste in art, you're starting to get the right idea.
Of course, the greatest trap is listening to those people who tell you that the way into a woman's pants is through "logical" and "rational" means. (Flowers, poetry, professing your love, etc.)
You get laid by practicing techniques that WORK.
Every relationship with a woman MUST start out as a se*xually charged interest, or it goes nowhere.
Would you like to learn more about how to project your status to women? How to avoid the deadly turn-offs that sabotage the best seductions?
Do you want to learn more about the rules of Se*xual Wall Street? Do you want to know how to turn patience into your ally in seduction?
Now, you know that you can get the inside tactics and tips on effective dating and pickup skills in my e-book, The Dating Black Book. If you don't have it, you need to GET IT NOW. Download it here:
Use the Advanced Audio Coaching to help you build on that knowledge and take your success to the extreme. Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - first hand.
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The monthly audio series is over 100 minutes of advice and explosive tips, and it's available for download at: www.datingdynamics.com/audioprog.htm
Is there ANYTHING else worth learning more than how to be successful with women?
Thanks...Carlos Xuma is a dating and seduction advisor, as well as a motivational and life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, Secrets of the Alpha Man, the Advanced Audio Coaching Series, and too many other articles to mention.
Each week, the Dating Dynamics newsletter gives advice to men across the world on topics related to dating, relationships, and sex. Carlos Xuma helps men get more confidence and success with women ... After all, every man has the right to a healthy dating life. Dating Dynamics provide advice, articles, books, audio, and all the resources a mand needs for success.
Carlos has also been a guest advisor and author on numerous sites and respected dating publications, such as:
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