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Top Dog Gets The Upper Hand
I want to talk to you for a minute on a topic that I've recently had the joy of researching first-hand.
This goes into the topic of posture (which many of you are familiar with in the e-book) and I hope this demonstrates what I mean by turning the tables on a woman and showing her you are not a wimp.
The usual pattern of male interaction (at least for 90% of the "nice guys" out there) is that they will often start to fear losing a woman far too quickly.
Recently, I had to cut loose one of my low-grade prospects because of her lack of effort. It wasn't easy at first, but I remembered that my attitude is FIRST and foremost, and keeping her around, selling off bits of my self-esteem to keep seeing her would have been more damaging than beneficial.
Here's the message that I gave her:
"Hey, girl... I tried calling you so I could talk to you in person, but no luck. I've been thinking, and it doesn't seem like a good time for us to be seeing each other. I really need a little more TLC right now and enthusiasm if I'm going to keep seeing someone. I think it's better if we can just be friends. No criticism of you, I just have high standards when it comes to the level of attention I require. Good luck!"
Yes, that's what I told her, because I could smell her flakiness starting to come on, and it got to the point where I couldn't reach her in person.
You know that smell, don't you? When a woman starts to hold back on contacting you, and you can tell that she's either trying to play the old "hard to get" game (probably after reading The Rules but not knowing how to use them appropriately) or she's starting to lose interest.
Most guys totally screw it up right here. They will proceed to push down harder on the gas, not realizing that she's already pulled up on the emergency brake. They start to panic, and they call her ten times a day to find out what is wrong, why won't she call?
Cut her off and take the upper hand back.
The bottom line is that I needed that slice of time back for ME, not wasting it on a woman who wasn't an active and producing part of my investment portfolio. The other stocks I've chosen deserve my attention, and they'll get further investments if they keep producing. But keeping her around is detrimental overall.
I did my part by demonstrating good faith in making the first installment investment, which every guy should do. That initial investment is your effort to get to that first date or meeting with her (introducing yourself, getting the phone number, calling her, setting the date). Everything after this point MUST have a return on your investment.
What kind of "return" are you looking for?
If she fails to kiss you on your first date (after a COMPETENT attempt by you) then she's dropped.
If she does not keep returning energy, affection, or any of the needs you have from her, GET RID OF HER.
If she's more of a liability or a drain to be around than uplifting and fun - she's better off playing for another team!
How many times have YOU told a woman you would "rather just be friends"?
When I told a friend of mine that I had used that line on her, he thought it was the most original thing he'd heard and couldn't stop chuckling at the irony. (I'll bet HE has never used that on a woman himself.)
Why haven't you done that to HER for a change? Why haven't you dropped a bomb in her lap by telling her you'd rather just be friends?
Because you were always more scared of losing out on potential pussy than you were at keeping your self-esteem high. Until you value your own sense of confidence and self-esteem more than a piece of ass, SHE will always CONTROL YOU.
(Whoah... this guy is to the point...)
Does that thought sound appealing to you? Giving up your manhood to a woman just to satisfy your sexual urge?
Here's an alternative: Cultivate the attitude and inner-strength of a man who does not NEED women at all. He understands that 50% of the population (actually slightly more) are women, and that once he understands the essentials - the FUNDAMENTALS - of female attraction, he need never trade his balls for anything again. Women are always out there waiting for him (yes, WAITING for you, guys - women almost never initiate, so they're WAITING for YOU.)
WE have the power, my friends. Not them. And only you can do something with that power by taking the upper hand from time to time.
And there are many ways to display this power of personality.
Ultimately, you're going to have to learn enough about what's going on in her head to get that upper hand.
Every man wants options when it comes to dating. We're sick and tired of taking it as it comes and having to feel good about the crumbs.
It's easy to start falling into traps of thought when you're a guy, and you don't have the same social support system a woman has. It's easy to fall prey to thinking about women, dating, and sex in a "logical" way. You start to believe the "Men are from Mars" hype, and you start to suffer in your dating because you THINK you're giving women what they want, but it's not working. (Like security, for instance.)
You want and need to know the secrets to making a woman feel attracted to you, to start that PASSION drive inside her.
For years, you've been programmed by bad television, bad movies, bad dating advice from men who aren't getting laid - you name it. It's time to end this pattern once and for all.
I think a lot of guys are stuck in their own thought patterns, self-reinforcing all their responses to women and are not able to get out of these learned patterns. The first step in the process of improving your success with women is knowing the game. Learn the rules so you can play it without getting thrown in the penalty box on every meeting with a gal.
Aren't you tired of going out on dates with that knotted feeling in your stomach? You know, the sensation that things could go either way with a woman, and you're flipping a coin. You feel like the chances of having it work out with her are due to probability, not ability.
It doesn't have to be this way.
Imagine what it will feel like to wake up each morning, with or without a woman in bed with you, but knowing that whatever situation you walk into with a woman that you're going to feel comfortable and confident? Wouldn't that be incredible? Isn't that the way you want to live your life? Can you imagine that deep-in-the-bones kind of satisfaction and confidence? Haven't you always wanted that?
You CAN have it. THE DATING BLACK BOOK will point you to a better way with women, where you become the skilled hunter instead of the pack hyena. Every man deserves to get his game together and have the women he wants in his life. Period.
And now you can download all these priceless strategies right now at: www.datingdynamics.com/ebookstore.htmCarlos Xuma is a dating and seduction advisor, as well as a motivational and life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, Secrets of the Alpha Man, the Advanced Audio Coaching Series, and too many other articles to mention.
Each week, the Dating Dynamics newsletter gives advice to men across the world on topics related to dating, relationships, and sex. Carlos Xuma helps men get more confidence and success with women ... After all, every man has the right to a healthy dating life. Dating Dynamics provide advice, articles, books, audio, and all the resources a mand needs for success.
Carlos has also been a guest advisor and author on numerous sites and respected dating publications, such as:
- Maxim Radio
- Utopia Radio
- Bikini Hangout
- Seduction Insider
- Don Juan Center
- Dating Newsletter
- Single Again
- Cliff's List
- Dating Class
- The Dating Insider Book
- Man Mindset
- Summum Magazine
- Savvy Insider - the art of single living
- Carlos Xuma
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