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What To Do If She Has A Boyfriend
hey man whats up, ussually when you get a girls number you jus call her up have a lil conversation and ask her to meet you somwhere, is it any diffrent with internet girls? im gussing it is but I wanted to ask you and ''when'' do you ask a internet girl out? and ''how'' do you?
if your wonderin why Im askin you this it's because I got like 10 internet girl #'s and most like me (whenever i go online they message me right away) they also say they're having boring summers, but as soon as I ask them to meet me like at a mall they get turned off so fast and they stop talking to me? so how and when do you ask a internet girl out so you two can meet up?
So, you're asking women out in a chat room? Or is this email?
Forget I asked that.
Either way, THAT is your problem, dude.
What kind of girl would meet a guy after only seeing his typed letters on a computer screen?
ANSWER: Only a girl as desperate and insecure as you are crazy.
Remember, you have to gain her TRUST. To her, you're just another freak that's trying to get laid online. You have to develop RAPPORT with her.
You have to move up to getting her phone number and TALKING to her before you can just expect to meet her somewhere. (Newsflash - the mall is pretty lame. I realize you're probably in high school, but aren't there any other interesting places around than that?)
These women will stay your online girls because that's very SAFE for them. They get attention and popularity in a way that never requires them to RISK.
My advice? Start getting rid of some of these girls by taking it to the next step. The ones that stick around are the ones you want to pursue. The others you never had anyway. You were just a collection of screen names on her AOL screen. If you can't get them to talk to you on a phone, you never had them to begin with.
"Carlos, I must say that the usefulness and completeness of the Dating Black Book is a QUANTUM LEAP over anything else I have ever read. I now have gone from approaching a woman every few weeks to exuding confidence with every woman I want to meet, every one of which I now approach.
"I now know how not only to spark their interest, but also how to hit their curveballs out of the park. I would definitely recommend The Dating Black Book to any guy who is looking to improve his understanding of women, and at the same time keep his balls." - A.C.
I've written before about certain problems and I've read both the Dating Black Book and the Seduction Method which is why I'm writing to thank you for the advice in it, which last night helped me to attract a girl that I though I was in danger of being just friends with.
Anyway, we had been flirting on and off by text message and she (like I) is at University (or College as you might better know it) and she had come back up to graduate yesterday. We met up in a pub with a group of her friends, some I knew and some I didn't, and me and her began to catch up.
Anyway she looked at me during a break in the
conversation and said I was "nice" and I thought I was losing her (as in the "ahh, your nice and sweet and such a good friend" routine), but she then went on to say that I was funny. I told her that this was good but it didn't get me a girlfriend, and she looked me dead in the eye and said "I'd be your girlfriend". At this point ashamedly I froze, having never expected to hear those words from her and the moment passed.
Anyway we then moved onto a nearby club and she had become rather drunk (think Irishman in a Guinness factory on St Patrick's day) and so I offered to walk her to a taxi, to which she agreed, and on to way out I put my arm round her and her then moved to hold my hand, which was nice.
We then walked to the taxi and stopped to say goodbye. Anyway I thought that the handholding and the girlfriend comment were fairtly safe indicators (much better than dilated pupils or a flushing of her cheeks) so I moved in for the kiss. Carlos man, it was fantastic, for many different reasons... but mostly because I haven't had that level of intimacy in a while (since before I bought the books anyway), and and it was a great end to a good evening.
Anyway after we kissed (I pulled away
first... see I'm learning already) I walked her to the taxi door and she said thankyou for a grat evening and (word perfect) "If I didn't have a boyfriend, I'd go out with you". Which is of course a compliment, but I honestly didn't know she was involved and didn't press the issue for tfear of ruining the mood. I don't believe in breaking up relationships, because I believe in the sanctity of them (maybe this makes me too much of a Nice Guy, but that's what comes from having parents who were married 25 years unitl death did do them apart)
So anyway, I'm just writing to say THANKYOU!!!!!!! because you gave me the confidence to go out and get, and like you say in the Confidence Treadmill part of the book, the best way to get confidence is go out and do it, and that should get me on an upward spiral leading all the way to the top baby, yeah!!! (sorry, Austin Powers moment there... too much sugar I think).
That's all for now, but again thank you because as you
also say "every girl is preparation for the next", and now I know I can do it once, its given me such a boost this morning, and I'm smiling like the Cheshire Cat!
M.S.P., England. ON TOP OF THE WORLD!!
Excellent work! I appreciate your mail. This is the kind of example that the guys out there need to hear about. And all the way from across the pond...
You are learning and applying the material, and that, my man, is about 99% of this game. You see that if you actually DO this stuff, you get results.
Sniff ... sniff... It does me proud.
As for her line "If I didn't have a boyfriend...", here's how you handle that:
First, don't panic. Recognize that if she didn't want this to go any further, she wouldn't have gone as far as she did. She's testing the waters. Women are often like monkeys: they don't let go of the last vine until they've got a good grip on the next one.
Second Ignore the comment as if you didn't even hear it. She will be attracted to a man who doesn't worry about being an Alpha and stealing her away from someone who obviously isn't turning her gears the way you are.
Third, say something like this: "Whoah, we hang out for a while and already you're telling me your problems. :) Obviously he's not giving you the attention you need. We'll talk."
And leave. Don't appear as if her comment has shot you down. Then call her back after a few days (probably at least 4 or 5, maybe even a week.) In fact, I'd be amazed if she didnâ?™t call YOU. Tell her you're going out for more fun and you thought she wasn't too shabby a friend to hang out with. You'll pick her up on Friday at 7:00. (Don't ask her. TELL her.)
She might give you more of that "I've got a boyfriend" nonsense, but ignore it. Be a little pushy, but not obnoxious. The key is how ASSERTIVE you are, and whether or not you want to go after what you want in life. She looks at this trait as an Alpha trait. And she's not married to this dork, so 'til death does she part doesn't apply. Don't be afraid to go after what YOU want and deserve in this life. No one else will make that happen for you but YOU.
Remember that the only dishonorable thing about going after a woman that's already seeing someone is if your goal is to hurt the other guy. You can't wait around for the woman you want to be single, because she will often be shopping for Mr. NextGuy while she's still dating the last one.
Someone will get her... And it might as well be you, right?
Don't wait for opportunity. MAKE it. Life is too short, and you don't want to be on your deathbed saying, "Oh, man! Why didn't I do it when I had the chance?" And the next time she (or any other woman) says something that's an obvious come-on, like "I'd be your boyfriend...", you have to be cocky right back. Say something like, "We'll see. I haven't made up my mind about you yet." With a smile.
Also, when she talks about you being "nice," I always act like she's just insulted my family name. I make a sour face and shrink away from her. She will usually panic and say, "What's wrong?"
"Nice?? Oh, man. We'd never be able to date. Forget it."
And she'll say, "Why not?" (Note how we've just reversed the situation so she's wondering why she can't see you.)
"I am so NOT nice. I'd be too much for you. We'd be fighting all the time."
And add in a little smile with that to make her wonder if you're serious.
Guys like you who know this stuff know that being "Nice" is the kiss of death. Sometimes a woman will just throw that out there, but you have to handle it as a small test. She knows she doesn't really want a "nice" guy, just a guy that can get her excited.
Which brings me to this point:
You know that women are getting more and more picky about men, and they can sniff out inferior guys with just a whiff of your confidence. And to stand out you MUST have the edge on the other guys out there. You need to be a REAL MAN, not this sissie-fied cartoon man that the media sells you. My e-book gives you the information and skills to get the women YOU want. Not SETTLE FOR.
There are so many things you have to have down pat in the singles world. Like, how do you NOT screw it up in those vital first couple minutes of meeting a woman? How do you introduce yourself to her without coming across like a dork? How do you take her out without spending a fortune and getting just a kiss on the cheek and a "let's just be friends!"
You've heard me say this before: Getting laid is not about getting "lucky." Luck is not a factor. It's about having the right knowledge and understanding up front. Women are actually WAITING for men to date and sleep with, if you'll just give them the right reasons WHY they should be with YOU. It's deliberate and on-purpose, not subject to the whims of chance and fate.
BE the kind of man they are waiting for. That's all they ask of you.
I've worked for years to break down what it is that women are trying to tell you with their behavior, and finding out the hard way why being a "nice guy" is dooming you to failure. You need this knowledge and understanding. When you have that knowledge, you can make better choices and demonstrate better behaviors. When you demonstrate better behavior, you will get better RESULTS.
My e-book -THE DATING BLACK BOOK- will help you get all of that ... and then some. Just remember: Every man is self-made, but only the SUCCESSFUL admit it. Where do you go for the information you need? THE DATING BLACK BOOK has the complete breakdown of the dating scene, and it's ready for download right now, no matter where you are or what time it is in the world.
Download it here:
You'll get answers to questions like:
... When is a woman playing you or REALLY interested?
... How do you stop being strung along for weeks and weeks by women, and how do you turn them on to you instead of you being turned into another girlfriend? ... How do you meet MORE hot women? ... How do you get them attracted to you right from the start? ... How do you stop paying for dates that go NOWHERE?
Don't forget - The Advanced Audio Coaching Session 8 is ready NOW to take your current skills and take them to the limit...
Imagine having a coach giving you tips, strategies, and a complete breakdown on how to improve your technique and success with women - firsthand. You can listen to this audio RIGHT NOW on your PC or Mac, and you can even use your MP3 player to take the learning and go mobile.
"I have already listened to session 8 and once again I think that you have cut
thru the modern myths of talking to woman and revealed more reality." - R.H.
www.datingdynamics.com/audioprog.htmCarlos Xuma is a dating and seduction advisor, as well as a motivational and life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, Secrets of the Alpha Man, the Advanced Audio Coaching Series, and too many other articles to mention.
Each week, the Dating Dynamics newsletter gives advice to men across the world on topics related to dating, relationships, and sex. Carlos Xuma helps men get more confidence and success with women ... After all, every man has the right to a healthy dating life. Dating Dynamics provide advice, articles, books, audio, and all the resources a mand needs for success.
Carlos has also been a guest advisor and author on numerous sites and respected dating publications, such as:
- Maxim Radio
- Utopia Radio
- Bikini Hangout
- Seduction Insider
- Don Juan Center
- Dating Newsletter
- Single Again
- Cliff's List
- Dating Class
- The Dating Insider Book
- Man Mindset
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- Savvy Insider - the art of single living
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