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Using Challenges To Make Women Qualify
I want to share with you a powerful method for generating ATTRACTION; a method women naturally use on men. But before I do I am going to share a personal tale that takes a lurid look at the collective male ego's pathetic attempt to buoy above water when it comes to attracting women. There are only a few people who I have shared this story with thus far, and I feel almost bashful sharing it with you. It is so important, however, that I share this story with you that I am willing to take one for the team and swallow my pride a bit.
When I was fifteen I went to high school with a guy who claimed to be dating a teen model. Not being the coolest cat in the litter box, he went out of his way to prove to everyone that he was "actually dating her": he cut out pictures in magazines of her, and even made up stories about the two of them making monkey love. Everyone mercilessly teased him, seeing through his transparent lies. In a sad attempt at regaining the smattering of respect people had for him, he promised everyone that she would attend his birthday party. I ended up going to his party just to prove to myself that this girl was a figment of his imagination. Long story short, she was real. She was also drop dead gorgeous: stunning tall blonde, complete with angelic face, an ice cold personality, and cigarette in hand (I was in love!). Birthday boy, however, was not "actually" dating her. In fact, she wanted nothing to do with him.
Fast forwarding a bit, we ended up "getting it on." That was the good news. There was, however, a catch: She had a boyfriend. She let me know, fretting a wound in my heart, that although she enjoyed fooling around with me, she would never break up with her boyfriend for me. Then she poured verbal rubbing alcohol on my open wound by telling me that I did not fit the quota of her "ideal man": I wasn't, for example, tall or handsome or the offspring of rock star parents…or whatever. Next she made a cruel try at alleviating the sting by telling me that it wasn't my fault, but hers – this, of course, only made me feel worse.
Did I run as fast as I could from this little ice princess?
No – instead I had an "I am going to try to live up to her ridiculously high standards" mentality. Similar to many other men in our culture, I viewed attracting beautiful women as a series of hoops and barriers I had to get through. I thought: "I am going to do whatever it takes to become the man of her dreams."
Did I end up winning her heart?
Not at all. And the feeling it left me with was akin to one's nether regions being stretched like a foot of flesh colored taffy. Unless your sexual preference rhymes with the month of May, this is a situation you want to avoid at all costs.
Generating ATTRACTION in a woman is not about living up to her standards. ATTRACTION is not what a woman prefers in a man. Women prefer, for example, men who are tall, dark, handsome, rich, and famous…with really big penises. If ATTRACTION was about what women prefer, only the Brad Pitts, the Dave Navarros, and the Ron Jeremys of the world would be getting laid. This, thank God, is not what ATTRACTION is.
ATTRACTION is not about how a woman judges you.
Letting a woman judge you will make you want and need her validation. Put in other words, you will become even more attracted to her. This, however, will make you less attractive to her than dingle berries hanging from a baboon's behind.
ATTRACTION is about emotionally compelling a woman to chase you. It's about creating inside her the emotions of wanting and reaching for more of you. Those of you who own my book, Real World Seduction, know how to do this.
Now that I know what ATTRACTION is, I realize this woman had succeeded in making me attracted to her. I have extracted the powerful mechanism she used on me and now apply it to ATTRACTING women – but in a way that is neither mean nor manipulative.
So this begs the question: What is this powerful mechanism for ATTRACTING women?
I call it "Challenging & Qualifying." This is the art of CHALLENGING women so they QUALIFY themselves to you. When a woman qualifies herself to you, she is trying to get validation from you. Put in other words, anything you do that forces a woman to qualify herself to you, generates the emotion of ATTRACTION: her wanting and reaching for more of you.
One of the best ways to get good at this is to develop really high standards: know exactly what you want in a woman. When talking to them, convey that you are unwilling to compromise these standards even one iota.
A few years ago, for example, I tried out a little social experiment. I decided that I was only going to be interested in women who were sexually adventurous and spontaneous. If they weren't sexually adventurous, no exceptions, I would walk away – even if they were super cute.
The weird thing, however, was that instead of sleeping with less women, I was sleeping with more – a lot more.
Within the first few minutes of meeting women I would ask them if they were adventurous and spontaneous. If they ended up being adventurous and spontaneous, I would grab their hands and say: "If you were in kissing school, how would your kissing teacher grade your kissing skills?" To which they usually hastened back: "I would get an A+." I would proceed by putting my hands on their sacrum, pulling them close to me and saying, "Let's find out." And most of the time they would kiss me.
Women responded very powerfully to this. Although it wasn't overt, the subtext was that I was QUALIFYING them for sex. Many women find this to be sexually titillating.
I think part of this is that in our culture men typically are the ones who sexually QUALIFY themselves to women: some men, for example, brag to women about the size of their schlong, or how good they are in bed…or whatever they feel will qualify them as meeting women's sexual standards.
Instead I was sexually QUALIFYING women. Many women after the fact have told me that they thought: "If this guy has the nerve to ask me if I live up to his sexual expectations, he must be good in bed."
Challenging women in this way, furthermore, sparks a "tension loop" inside them. When you challenge a woman it creates unresolved emotional tension inside her body. She has to QUALIFY herself to you in order to release and bring closure to this tension.
A big part of making this work is having a strong intent. Having a strong intent is having the desire and will to do whatever it takes to achieve your intended outcome, coupled with the BELIEF that you can achieve this outcome. So, for example, when challenging a woman to meet my standards of sexual adventurism, spontaneity and being a good kisser, I have both:
1) The will and the desire to make her qualify to me that she is sexually adventurous, spontaneous, and a good kisser.
2) The belief that she will qualify to me that she is sexually adventurous, spontaneous, and a good kisser.
Developing this belief is the real key to success with CHALLENGING women. In my next newsletter I am going to talk about how to develop this belief.
I have really only given you the abridged version of CHALLENGING women. My book gets deeply into the intricacies of Challenging and Qualifying. If you are ready to gain mastery over the inner workings of generating ATTRACTION in women using methods, such as Challenging & Qualifying, visit Real World Seduction today.
What's up man, this is A, the greaser guy you met in LA.
I remember you mentioned you don't do cold reads anymore. I was wondering what you meant by this?
Is there a reason you dropped them out of your game?
A from California
For those who don't know "cold reading" is when you tell someone about themselves without having any prior knowledge of them. This is what psychics do. There are a number of gimmicks you can use to do cold readings: for example, some guys have had success using handwriting analysis and palmistry. If you are confident in your cold reading ability, however, you can cold read women without using gimmicks.
I used to use cold reading within the first thirty seconds of meeting a woman. I no longer do this for several reasons. One is that cold reading usually consists in asking a woman questions about her self. Pummeling a woman with questions within the first few minutes of meeting her can be a bit intrusive. This could make her feel uncomfortable, causing her guard go up. Instead, open up to her first by jesting around with her or by telling funny stories…or whatever. My point is this: If you open up first, this will make her feel more comfortable opening up to you.
I still use cold readings - but only sparingly when first talking to a woman. Put in other words, I usually DON'T use cold readings as a means of engaging women in conversation. I might use a cold reading if I have already engaged a woman in conversation. These days, however, I mostly use cold readings to handle tests and barriers I run into along the way of attracting a woman. Cold reading can be a powerful tool when it comes to attracting women. If you really want to get a foothold on using cold reading to attract women, be sure to pick up a copy of my book. It breaks down step-by-step how to using cold reading within the context of ATTRACTING women. This is cutting edge info that you won't find anywhere else.
Till next time,
SwinggcatTo learn more about my secret step-by-step system for attracting women and receive your five day attracting women email mini course visit http://www.realworldseduction.com You can signup and receive part one of the mini course within the next few minutes (All information is 100% confidential and will not be disclosed to any outside parties).
P.S. If you have a success story you would like to share, or a question you would like to ask, or a comment you would like to make, please email me at email@example.com
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